A poem about Courage

This is a spoken word poem that I wrote, but here, you just get to read it.
It was written for a friend that is fighting cancer, and partly inspired by another that fought it all the way to the end.

COURAGE

I want to tell you about courage tonight.

I want to enlighten our thoughts that I might encourage those that need it.

And although I concede the point that I claim to have insight despite my inexperience, I have the sense that Courage has many different faces

Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that lets you face difficulty, danger or pain without fear.

And I hear what they’re saying, but I don’t fully agree

You see, I believe that the dictionary’s got it all wrong, or at least not all right

Because that’s just one part courage. And sure, it might be the most exciting.

It ignites an internal fire, inspiring us to fight like we’re invincible. To live life to its fullest. 

But it’s also the most rare, and I swear it’s the dumbest definition of courage there is.

People face difficulty, danger and pain with fear because those things are hard, dangerous and they hurt.

And I’m no expert, but if you don’t have, at least a healthy fear of that, well, let me be clear, I don’t see that as courageous, I just believe you’re naïve,

So if you don’t mind, I’m going to change how courage is defined. 

I’m going to remove the word “Without” and I’m going to trade it with the word “Despite”. As in “Courage is the quality of mind or spirit that let’s you face difficulty, danger or pain DESPITE fear. “

And that’s it right there.  Courage is that thing inside that won’t let you hide even though you might be terrified.  It’s not the lack of fear that makes you brave; it’s standing up even when you’re afraid, it’s fighting back when fear attacks you; getting back up when fear knocks you down; walking one step forward, when everything inside you wants to run away.

Sometimes courage is…

Simply facing the next day, talking to your kids when you have no idea what to say

Allaying their fears, while yours are trying to tear you down.  Giving it everything you’ve got not to frown, just so they can smile for a while.

Sometimes courage is…

Going 8 rounds in the ring with Chemo. Losing pound after pound, feeling like you’re being pounded into the ground by some faceless thing, but climbing up again each time til finally you win and can ring that bell.  Being given the champion’s belt only to be dealt an illegal blow, felt in your very soul, being told you’ve gotta get back in there and do it all over again.  Courage is you saying “pass me my gloves, this time I’m putting him down for the count!”

Sometimes Courage is…

Felt in the amount of time you spend doing nothing.  Sitting, Waiting, hating the boredom that comes; debating if you’ve got the energy to twiddle your thumbs before the monotony becomes unbearable.  This terrible sea of doldrums, that can only be defined by the time it takes the second hand to find its way around the dial.  Courage is the power to wile away those hours, tying yourself to the mast, exploring the vast ocean of time; willing yourself to circumnavigate the clock.

Sometimes courage is…

Being able to block it all out.  Being able to talk about something, anything other than Cancer.  Dancing around conversations but still seeing it, hearing it everywhere; a constant stream of reminders, seemingly designed to grind you down.  Courage is a refusal to be defined by a condition.  It’s giving yourself permission to decide when and where and what you share.

Sometimes courage can be found in your hair, or lack thereof.  It’s shopping for a wig that fits you like a glove and wearing it with pride ignoring the pain you felt when you cried the first time you saw the clumps in the shower drain.  And sometimes courage is taking it off, going out and saying that even if they all stare, you still dare to declare that BALD IS BEAUTIFUL!

Sometimes courage is…

Refusing to withdraw.  It’s taking the time the Dr’s given you and going on a living spree, giving it up as a down payment on eternity.  Investing it. Measuring success not in length but in quality.  Unlike a miser hoarding it to his last dime, you take that time and you spend it. Mending torn relationships, lending it to those who can never pay it back.

And sometimes courage is…

Simply trusting in God, even when His plans seem flawed, even when it seems you’ve been plodding along for so long, He must’ve gone off and forgotten you; when you’ve fought and cried and bled and are ready to break.  Courage is choosing to believe that He will never forsake you.

So let’s not make the mistake that Courage can be defined by using the word “without”.  Courage has more to do with what’s “within”.  So be encouraged, to all those who are scared, being brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid to die, it simply means that you stare that fear in the eye and say: “You can try to beat, batter and bruise me, but I refuse to lose one more inch of ground.  I choose to turn this thing around.  I may be afraid, but I’m not backing down.

Cause you see, I’ve got Courage!”